Comment: United? Meet the Fockers

Last updated : 19 February 2005 By Ben Collins

As sequels go, it’s pretty good – perhaps even better than Meet the Parents. Dustin Hoffman’s great, but the one thing that really stuck out was a line from Robert De Niro.

I might have it slightly wrong, but it was words to the same effect: “The way a man behaves on a football field says a lot about his character.”

Of course, he meant American football, but Bobby’s wise words can be applied equally to soccer, or indeed any sporting arena. And at last week’s derby, I couldn’t help but remember that comment when watching Wayne Rooney.

Apart from a long-range effort that went off-target, the only incident he was involved in was when he was dispossessed by Richard Dunne before running back and chopping down the City defender, for which he was quite rightly shown a yellow card.

Of course, he changed the game in the second half with the opening goal, although it did take a crucial deflection off Dunne. Rooney then ran past where I sit (behind and just to the left of James’ goal), on his way to celebrate in front of the United fans. I was quite surprised there was no comment or gesture to the City fans, but later he showed his true colours.

With about five minutes left, United earned a throw-in by the corner where both goals came from. Rooney was waiting in position for the throw but there was a stoppage, meaning he was just yards from where I sit, with some time to kill.

With United’s victory in the bag, Rooney thought it necessary to clench his fist and mouth ‘yes!’ to the City fans. As he well expected, he then came under a barrage of abuse, and was swaggering about, revelling in the attention. As he hadn’t expected, Ben Thatcher was stood a few feet in front of him, and as he was transfixed on the City fans, he accidentally walked into the back of the City full-back.

The Blues had a good old chortle, which clearly riled the United striker, and he was now at a loss as to how he could respond. Short of ideas, he settled for a 2-0 gesture and revelled in the abuse once more. Ryan Giggs, I might add, saw what was going on and wanted no part in it. He and the City defenders just stood back and watched the pathetic youngster make a fool of himself.


So, in conclusion, what does this say about Rooney’s character? To elaborate, you could say he confronts adversity with violence, likes to take individual acclaim for collective glory, and longs to be the centre of attention – even if it is abuse.


To be abrupt, you could say he is arrogant and self-assured. Add the Graham Poll incident at Arsenal and you could include disrespectful. Add the fact he rushed off to United after displaying his ‘Once A Blue’ top and you could also say disloyal, unfaithful and materialistic. Add the Spain friendly and you could come to the conclusion that he’s just a brute.


All in all, a nasty piece of work. If that’s the future of English football then God help us. More Meet the F**kwit, than Meet the Fockers - expect more of the same on his return to Goodison this afternoon (Sky, 5.30).